For the past two weeks I have been engaged in a Don Quixotic venture to recover about $70 lost to an irresponsible bed and breakfast owner who stood me up during my latest trip to the U.K. I reserved a room in a place near a London airport through an Internet hotel operator, and when I showed at the appointed time and day, there was no-one there, a cell phone number pasted to the door, and a neighbor told me that he had had it up to.. HERE with the guy's incapacity to deal correctly with clients.
I sent several mails to the English tour operator, a big business, and received warm, friendly, and personalized replies in almost all cases. (sympathetic even...)
My only contact with the French branch of this outfit was... a short, cold, impersonal form letter telling me basically, that they were IN NO WAY responsible for what had happened, and that basically, I could take my complaint and shove it where the sun never shines.
Pause for a minute to allow your imagination to run free and play with how YOU would feel if you got that kind of a letter. Or... how you would feel if every time you wanted to contact your telephone company, you only got a recorded message, and there was NO WAY to EVER get hold of even a real TELEPHONE presence. A... PERSON, with a name, maybe even a... FACE.
Let it sink in.
Then, tell yourselves that this is what I/we deal with EVERY DAY in France. Those... cold, brutal, impersonal form letters, written by no names and nobodies.
Is it any wonder that many French people turn around and commit suicide when they finally encounter the straw that breaks the camel's back ?
Whereas... in the States, for example, people in similar situations... take out their rifles, their machine guns, their grenades, head for the local McDonald's or church, or school, or whatever, and promptly proceed to take themselves out with company, at least.
Culture shock. Yeah.
Today I feel like bitching about this cold, cruel, impersonal society.
22 comments:
Wow,
Deh, you need to learn to live in France! C'est l'esprit gaullique. Here's how it works.
Not so long ago in Paris a young, pleasant, couple of German tourists was lost in Paris. They stopped an upstanding looking Parisian and asked if he (she) couldn't help find a particular restaurant, let's call it L'Auberge. But, of course, was the enthusiastic response. He gave them a complex set of directions through the winding streets. Even repeated the directions so they would not get lost.
The couple followed the directions scrupulously. When they got to the destination they looked up. All they could see was not the restaurant L'Auberge but a plaque to the French resistance indicating that on a certain day in 1942 on this square 7 Parisian members of the resistance were killed by the Gestapo.
All in all I like the French.
SS
Yeah, you like them so much that YOU are living in THEIR country, right ???
"Yeah, you like them so much that YOU are living in THEIR country, right ???"
Mon Dieu! You are in a foul mood today, no?!?! Go to the open-air market, buy some treats that we can only dream of, and eat them by some picturesque river flowing past some ancient castle with late Summer flowers. And then laugh at us; you'll feel better ;)
Deb,
If I was still single, I'd definitely be in France. It's so nice to date women with minds - note don't consider that as a personal remark. But with a wife and child I'm not into dating, so i've been focused on what's best for my son. Will be going to France for an extended stay next summer. I want to visit the region around Toulouse as I'm fascinated by the Provencal/Albigensian heretical culture that flourished there.
No place is perfect, the French just put the imperfections upfront.
SS
Don't get too excited about the Albigeois heresy. Those were the people who, as I recall, decided that the devil created the body, and God created the... mind. The more rabid of them forswore procreation and all sexual activity.
I am too much of a hedonist/sensualist for THAT.
Deb,
You're 100% right, they thought the old testament was written by the devil, it's pretty bad, that Christ and the spirit of the new testament were in constant struggle with the evils of the flesh which could only be transcended through spiritual growth. They invented courtly love and the traditions of La Provencale, Built Toulouse into a major bourgeoise center.
The Heresy made inroads into southern Italy and elsewhere and was finally wiped out by the Church with the aid of the Kings of France after years of bitter fighting. A Jewish friend told me that as a result the people of the region have a particularly independent bent (Jacobin) even for the French and as a result played a prominent part in the Resistance and in aiding Jews. Truly fascinating. They built tons of beautifulfortified castles on mountaintopsto keep going, but in the end lost out.
It partly inspired Schopenhauer who also translated and discovered the ancient Buddist and Hindu texts for the West. These books had almost never been translated prior to him. The Heresy has many similarities with Buddism so I was not surprised to find Schopenhauer inspired by them.
I'm very much looking forward to "les vielles pierres" as the French kids say.
SS
But you see, SS, even though the Albigeois heresy lost out it probably had an enormous influence on... ensuring that later generations were more than mistrustful of the flesh, and as always, when things get REALLY bad, WOMEN get shit on as being responsible for the evils of society.
Look... even now there are hidden videocams in maternity hospital rooms to ensure that those horrible WOMEN don't abuse their newborns... Gotta protect society from WOMEN. They're just SO dangerous...
Carcassonne is beautiful. And no too far away are the Cevennes, where Catholics and Protestants (the following heresy) slugged it out forever. Protestantism is still a force in this area, even though Louis XIV revoked the Edit de Nantes (one of the worst political moves he EVER made, and greatly responsible for the French revolution).
I tend to think that... Protestantism had MORE influence on the way things turned in France than the Albigeois heresy, but Jansenism sure looks a lot like... Protestantism, for example.
Deb, those cams are for "code pink" (which is when a baby is stolen) and code blue (I am sure you know what that is).
I work in an ED remember? We always respond to all the codes in every facility I work.
Baby theft is a very rare but very real issue rare enough I am not sure the cams are monitored closely enough to actually catch it if and when it occurs if the truth be told.
But liability is what it is
Deb.
Why was the Edict of Nantes a factor in the French Revolution? I am not sure I know enough french history to figure it out.
On the albigensian heresy paradoxically they revered women at least those of the upper class in their ideal of courtly love; but I believe this may have been general. I haven't read of any disdain for woman which one might think from the philosophy. I look forward to reading more. There was a book on courtly love in the era of the provencale, popular in the 70s I don't believe I read it but it was quite popular.
Note: See comments relative to madonna on the other thread.
SS
@ D
Sorry, I meant the thread on social moeurs and sensory deprivation, I think you made a very insightful point, though Thai may well be right that Alzheimers trumps tea time but still, we have a serious social problem. WHite male suicide in VA attributed to loneliness among the elderly is quite high.
SS
SS
It is a very serious problem
Deb,
Your husband would love to know how good he is:
http://prescriptions.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/11/health-care-abroad-france/
France is #1 worldwide in health care. (keep kicking those dogs, just joking)
More on French health care
http://www.commonwealthfund.org/Content/Publications/In-the-Literature/2008/Jan/Measuring-the-Health-of-Nations--Updating-an-Earlier-Analysis.aspx
This explains why they have so much energy left over to insult people, venting is a national passtime, quoi?
SS
France WAS number one in healthcare...
If it STILL is, then from my point of view, you guys must be up shit creek without a paddle.
Headlines : France SURE is number one in pill popping in the industrialized world. Angst oblige.
The Revocation of the Edit de Nantes promptly led to... an unprecedented exodus of financial and intellectual power/capital from France, and you guys must have figured out by now just how closely entwined BUSINESS/Protestantism and the middle class are, right ?
Those people weren't really happy about being uprooted, you know. Even now, mobility is not a big thing in France, despite France Telecon's rabid efforts to push it through commando style.
And they managed to build up quite a bit of resentment for Louis's treatment. (Remember that Henry IV only barely managed to dampen down the fanatism of the religious wars after quite a struggle, and thanks to the Edit of Nantes.) I think that much of this resentment furnished a great deal of energy towards... the revolution.
Traveling through the U.S. last summer I saw some of those really lonely older single men. They broke my heart...
*Edict of Nantes
I got a little into English/French history a while back. What a freaking mess! Kill all the Protestants. New Regent, Kill all the Catholics. New queen infertile, Kill queen. Eldest brother gay, killed by younger brother. Son from favorite mistress, dies mysteriously before puberty. George I was 52nd in line for the throne! Sloppy, just sloppy.
*Lonely older guys
This will hopefully end with future generations thanks to Oprah and whatnot. There was a weird and unsustainable cultural vibe that males couldn't express emotion. Which blocks any chance of healthy long-term relationships with mates, children, potential friends. Tragic, but improving rapidly.
*I'm heading out later today for ~ a week. Enjoy the last week of Summer, various street rats!
@ Deb
"Traveling through the U.S. last summer I saw some of those really lonely older single men. They broke my heart..."
Tolerance for rudeness aside Deb, you've really become very French. I don't think an American, even a woman, would have said or felt any sympathy.
"Keep those dirty old men away from me," would have been the reaction.
I don't know if Thai or Dink or even Okie, if he reads this, would agree with me, i might have lived abroad too long, but I don't find much real sympathy here, although manners are better.
We're operating under "zero sum game" theory in the U.S., its not just Thai, we're taught "all against all" and even if these are old defeated men, they could "eat our lunch" or if not competitive with us economically the society is so violent we are still afraid of them. I hope I'm wrong or exaggerating but I think you may be unrecognizably french by now.
SS
I will takes your comments as a compliment, SS, but... as a long established expatriot now... I am NOT American, but certainly NOT French either...
On the subject of men not being able to express emotion, I think that... according to MY pet theories, we gotta have differences, remember, and... we gotta materialize the difference between the sexes somehow.
I think that generations of women have been unreasonable, expecting their men to be...
a woman just like them, and then bitch, bitch, bitching when, for some intangible reason they were dissatisfied when their man became a woman just like them.
This theory is not very popular among women, I think that you can tell...
But I hold to it.
We have culturally had very unrealistic expectations about long term relationships for a long time now.
Not only are many people into the Sleeping Beauty story (like me...), but AFTERWARDS, sleeping beauty and Prince Philip have to be dancing around at fancy dress balls, and mooning into each others' faces for the duration of the "happily ever after".
Pretty fluffy, eh ?
And SS, your comments about sympathy lead me to remark about the decline of the Gospel spirit in Western culture.
Forgiveness is out. Vengeance is in.
Love your neighbor is out. Take him for everything you can get is in.
These attitudes are devastating on... the faith that our society is built upon (which is NOT a religious faith, by the way...)
Deb,
How right you are, again. I learned an unforgettable lesson when I di the dishes living with various European girl friend s during the 70s, they wanted you too share and be moder until you actually did. Than all hell broke lose. The dishes were not what "daddy" did, although they would never say that. You probably needed a little freud to sort it out.
Still men need to share emotions with someone. A life of "sports talk, is not inducive to a full life or mental health. Note dishes aren't emotions.
SS
SS, it is your feelings I am being sensitive towards for I am a sensitive new age man ;-)
If you are saying your are made of sterner stuff then I thought, by all means we can continue.
SS, I had to laugh as your comment came in my inbox.
For my neighbor had just come over for a curbside medical consult the moment prior
Seems she injured her left foot running a few weeks ago and has been favoring her right but now that has become very painful and she wanted a diagnosis.
Incidentally, she started riding her bike because her right foot hurt (really both), but now she had also injured her right index finger using a sticky break lever.
There are always boundaries
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