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Wednesday, February 24, 2010

My loony forum

It's 23h over here (you guys never tell time the railway station way, do you ? Still ?) and I'm worn out after a grueling three days on my loony forum.
I should say that... most of the people on my loony forum are not really loony, not from MY strict diagnostic point of view.
They THINK they are loony. (That's worse... It's like people who are converts to a religion, somehow. We all know how rabid people can be who are converts to a religion. Like... new non smokers. I know, I know, I'm generalizing but YOU'RE going to let me get away with it, right ?)
Two days ago things blew up. Who knows why. It's sometimes hard to pinpoint the exact causes of an outbreak. Something to do with someone feeling picked on and excluded.
And now the attacks are fusing from everywhere.
And every last single nagging, stickling detail that could have been caught in somebody's throat is now getting spewn out in the public arena for everybody to see.
All along the lines of... "you don't UNDERSTAND me" or "But I thought you were such and such and what a colossal DISAPPOINTMENT to discover that you don't perfectly match that image of you that I had built up in a totally unrealistic and idealistic fashion". (That's my translation, for the last part. Too psychological. Too sophisticated for many people's thinking.)
And... "you don't love me enough. You don't love me the way I really am". (Translate : you don't love me the way that I WANT YOU TO LOVE ME, under my definition of love, of course...)
My nerves are really frayed with trying to mediate this little orgy of self deception, and self indulgence. Even if I know that our current collective tolerance for negativity is pretty close to 0, and that we on the forum are definitely NOT running around with machine guns trying to eliminate each other, it's still hard.
A woman who I like a lot is saying some pretty nasty stuff to me. (I won't repeat ; it isn't worth repeating.)
What she says ISN'T true, in my book, and she is saying it with the sole intent of hurting me, but she is intelligent, and she knows how to hurt.
And so, I have told her.... "the person you want to punish the most is not me, it's YOU. And you are saying things now that you don't really believe, just to hurt me."
It is really hard to get out of some situations.
When somebody CAN NOT understand that just because you see another person's point of view DOES NOT MEAN that you can't see THEIRS TOO, and at the same time, this leads to some rather insoluble problems.
What to do ?
Wait until it all blows over, I guess.
When it all calms down, for a while at least.
Until the next major explosion.
That's (human) life for you, right ?


Dink said...

Sorry to hear about all the interpersonal conflict. Lord knows its exhausting. Well, I guess some people actually enjoy and thrive on it (hence obnoxious reality TV shows). I've heard it called "recreational bitching". Its a hobby for some.

So for the last few nights I've been falling asleep on the couch while <1/2 watches the Olympics. Far too much curling to stay awake. But while watching hockey players randomly body-check each other into the walls I heard a great, exasperated wail "It can't be a sport if there aren't any rules!!!" I sleep-smiled.

So here's a comeback to the Counting Crows/Joni Mitchell: Nothing But Flowers .

Gotta love youtube, here's is a live version of an old favorite. Crazy people tend to be good musicians.

Thai said...

Talking Heads!! That is a blast from the past. :-)

Indeed Deb, indeed

Debra said...

Thanks, dink, for the sentiments and the videos.
It's hard not to be totalitarian when you THINK you've got a good idea, right ? ;-)

Thai said...

re: "it's hard not to be totalitarian when you THINK you've got a good idea, right?"


Deb, my point all along.

Thanks for saying you saw my point-w whether you agree is completely up to you.

Be well

Debra said...

Yeah, Thai, I see your point.
Over there on my loony forum there is one woman who tells me that I am too intellectual.
She is... right.
The defense of reason is one that I have elaborated over a long, long period of time to deal with situations that tend to overwhelm me, with despair or something else.
It is as good a defense as any.
Better than most.
On my loony forum, I also stuck down a post about the Dukakis non election, and the death penalty.
Did I write about that here ?
I don't remember...
Do you ?

オテモヤン said...


The Most Fabulous Objects In The World

  • Hitchhiker's Guide To The Universe trilogy
  • Lord of the Rings trilogy
  • Flight of the Conchords
  • Time Bandits