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Saturday, May 23, 2009

A Round Of Applause For Carbon

So after a nap the squirrel considers the monkey's game. If the players were chemical elements, the squirrel decides that it would absolutely bet on Carbon. Without a doubt.

Most other elements are so hard to get along with. Sure, everyone wants a perfect octet outer shell (don't start with me on H/He), but you don't have to be a rat bastard about it. Rat bastardism only makes you a salt. SALTS! Salts will never evolve, will they? Take chloride, so desperate for that last electron it will steal. Sodium so vain, it will actually throw away an electron so at least it will look good as a smaller sphere. Willing to be out of balance with their protons for that precious octet.....shameful. And those smug noble gases! Those arrogant things will never go on to anything big either.

Carbon though, there's a pragmatic fellow if there ever was one. He's never going to reach that octet without seriously cooperating. Oxygen, Sulfur, Phosphorus, and Nitrogen may not be the easiest guys in the world to deal with, but Carbon can usually sooth them into a workable party. Any Hydrogen has a reputation for being an acidic personality, but Carbon loves having the guy around.

Some may say Carbon is manipulative, sinister even, with all it Machiavellian dealings. Its just using the others so it can form long chains of itself..... Huge molecules!

The squirrel won't hear of any complaints about Carbon, though. Arguably, as an organic creature it is biased.

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The Most Fabulous Objects In The World

  • Hitchhiker's Guide To The Universe trilogy
  • Lord of the Rings trilogy
  • Flight of the Conchords
  • Time Bandits